Here I am, minding my own business, trying to waste as much time as possible before Thanksgiving vaca starts, when I catch this on the fucking Twitter machine
JUST ANNOUNCED: The @DudePerfect 2020 Tour is coming to NYCB LIVE on June 28! Presales start 12/5.
Get more info here: https://t.co/OKfLySVxDM pic.twitter.com/G4OgNPCZVF
— NYCB LIVE (@NYCBLive) November 26, 2019
Dude Perfect is doing a mother fucking arena tour.
At various points in my life, I’ve felt like an absolute failure. I remember when The Yankees drafted Phil Hughes out of high school, and thinking “fuck, this dude is 8 months older than me, and he just got a $1.4 million signing bonus…what am I doing wrong with my life?” Of course, that was aggressive, considering the extenuating circumstances (he’s talented), but still, that was how I felt.
That pales in comparison to the shame I feel right now. This group, consisting of five guys with the southern equivalents of Chad & Brad (Cory Cotton, Coby Cotton, Garrett Hilbert, Cody Jones, Tyler Toney) are “YouTube stars,” but I just don’t see how this translates to a live fucking tour.
I don’t even know where to go with this. You’re telling me that they’re just going around North America trying to throw a Nerf football through a basketball hoop from the 3rd deck of various arenas across this continent? Jebus Webus, I’m not long for this world
SIDENOTE-The presale password for this tour is “POUNDIT.” Just to be clear, basically, the secret code words to have the opportunity to watch five dudes play with various balls is POUND IT. Just let that sink in…